In many cases, anxiety is a normal reaction it’s a feeling of fear when we face when in a stressful situation, such as speaking in public, or going on an interview. This kind of anxiety is not only normal, but healthy. However, weeks and months of continuous worry or fear becomes debilitating.
According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health concern in Canada. There are six main anxiety disorders in adults and seven in children/young adults. They affect 12 per cent of the population. Often, they occur together or with other conditions such as depression or substance abuse. If left untreated, prolonged anxiety disorders can severely impact relationships, income, and sense of self.
Treatment of Anxiety
Research shows that anxiety disorders are highly treatable.
Anxiety is created in one’s mind and results in most cases to affect the physical body. This comes from having faulty beliefs that do not support how you want to live or looping repeating grid locked thinking patterns.
As your counsellor I will guide you to first recognize these thinking patterns that are not effective or out of date, and as well as help you discover better thinking tools to deal with life’s stressors.
This type of mind emotion type of counselling involves a deep desire for change and willingness in order to take what you learn in the 90 minute sessions into day to day challenges. The change you want requires consistency and dogged persistence.
This approach has worked for many clients I have counselled and it will do so for you as well.
Just as everyone feels anxious at one time or another, we all feel sad at times, or inexplicably tearful or just plain “down.”
These uncomfortable feelings are part of life. But when these feelings persist for weeks and weeks, affecting the way we eat and sleep, how we feel about ourselves and how we think about family, friends, and work, then this is not just a part of life, psychologically it is assessed as clinical depression.
Depression can affect anyone. There are many different factors at work, including family history, biology, life experiences, and physical health problems.
How do you know if you are depressed? Symptoms include:
• loss of energy
• loss of interest in activities and in life
• feelings of sadness and hopelessness
• loss of appetite
• difficulty in concentrating
• irritability and indecisiveness
• suicidal thoughts
• anxiety, including physical symptoms such as nausea, dizziness, hot or cold flushes, blurred vision, rapid heartbeat and increased perspiration.
Treatment of Depression
In my counselling sessions, I treat depression by identifying thinking patterns that cause and maintain depression.
I use this approach because it focuses on present, “here and now” thoughts and behaviours.
Together, you and I will identify your symptoms and their severity and select goals you wish to attain (such as increasing self-esteem or improving communication).
I will help you to look at how your actions or lack of actions contribute to your feelings, and help you identify negative or unrealistic ways of thinking that may be making you feel depressed.
With 20 or fewer sessions of individual therapy, approximately 75 per cent of patients experience a significant decrease in their symptoms. As well, patients are given the tools to prevent depressive symptoms from coming back.
Affair – A crime of the Heart
Call it what you may; infidelity, cheating, an affair or extra marital affair a betrayal of the heart.
Very few situations in this world stir a person’s passions more than the discovery of a cheating spouse. Rage, numbness, paralysis, fear, and unending pain can bring a halt to one’s normal life.
This is certainly one of the most challenging issues a couple can face. The depth of pain experienced by the partner who was cheated on can be excruciating and unrelenting.
Also for the person who did the cheating an all-encompassing shame becomes a constant emotional companion that won’t leave.
For those who are not able to move past this transgression, it can represent the death of the relationship. The breach of trust is simply too much for some to bear which is completely understandable.
However, for those who want to move past this event and rebuild their relationship foundation there is hope.
As a Couples Counselling expert, I take a very strong position regarding cheating. You are going to need professional counselling a safe environment where you can come back together emotionally and heal.
Because of the shame and guilt associated with this issue it is hard to get support, advice, and help from your friends and relatives. And yet without help, your odds are decreased of getting through the maze of recovery in the most expedient and constructive way.
When couples sit down in front of me on the couch in my office, I make it very, very clear that they are about to embark on a difficult but not insurmountable journey together.
Make no mistake salvaging a marriage/relationship after an affair absolutely takes extraordinary commitment, effort and your time.
Though this is one of the more challenging circumstances to work through in Couples Counselling, the fact that the couple brings themselves to counselling to work on it is a great sign.
A couple dealing with infidelity needs to understand that this is a process and it can take a long time to work through in counselling sessions and outside the counselling session room.
There is not formula to figure out, “how long?” It will depend on a lot of factors specific to who they are, what transpired, the length of time it occurred and so on.
My job is to find out for sure that both people in the couple believe the relationship is worth fighting for this is the first and most important step in order for me to help to go forward.
Next, the affair, the betrayal has to be put in the PAST in order to rebuild the shattered foundation of their relationship.
I have to emphasize here for some letting go of the PAST will be a herculean request of you. Sometimes it is three steps forward, one back, and then going forward again. I will be there to facilitate you going forward. For many, this will give new meaning to the expression ‘blood, sweat and tears’.
A betrayal of the heart is never forgotten. The memory cannot be erased, but the act can be forgiven and gradually fade into the background of a strong marriage.
Forgiveness is…. letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.
I am eager to be that somebody who will stand in the gap in your relationship as I have for other couples….. And because they got help their relationships are thriving, stronger.
Together we can work on closing that gap.
Take the next step! Call to set up an appointment to come in and talk with me.
Let’s begin. Believe. Breathe. There is always Hope.