IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME SEEKING COUNSELLING?

Seriously, I want you to be a savvy customer for counselling services. Take your time to feel your way around on my website.

Remember how when you were a kid and most likely you first day of school you felt anxious, excited, hopeful, happy—a whole range of emotions?   Well, opening the door to my office could quite well feel the same.   Take your time—breathe.   I will meet and welcome you as to where you are emotionally.

Your first counselling session will involve discussion on what you hope to achieve, so a plan of action can be formulated.   I will sit with you and information in about the “big picture” of your life so I have a context in which to consider your goals.

The reason you are coming to counselling is most likely emotionally charged, so it is best not to go into all the details in the first session. A general description of your problem will be sufficient until you and I know each other and are addressing specific issues.

This is a common human trait.  All of us feel vulnerable until we come to trust the other person. This self-protection is a good thing.

As you begin to feel comfortable with me you will naturally find yourself sharing more details as your work continues.

HOW OFTEN SHOULD I COME TO COUNSELLING?

Each client’s needs are different.   What I tend to recommend is once a week for 3 to 6 weeks, and then you and I reconsider the question at that time.

If you want to resolve an enduring emotional problem or a lifelong pattern I personally think that seeing your therapist less than weekly is stretching the limits of what counselling can do.

You could still benefit from less frequent sessions but don’t be surprised or blame “counselling” (or yourself) if progress is slow.

Similarly, if you are in crisis mode, counselling sessions once every two weeks will be less likely to progress quickly. You’d find that your counselling would be so focused on ‘catching up’ that it would be difficult to deal with the underlying patterns.

HOW LONG SHOULD I GO TO COUNSELLING?

The short answer is “for as long as you are making changes”. Keep in mind that some changes are small but important nonetheless e.g. “I’m a little more comfortable when dealing with people at work” or “look! I have nails; I am no longer biting them due to being anxious “.

It’s ultimately your choice–it depends on what results you want to achieve and how deep-seated your problems are.

By the way, unless your problem is very specific, a single counselling session isn’t going to do much. Although there is a treatment known as “brief therapy”, there is no such thing as “instant therapy”!

“Counselling… it is like the wind, It can only be seen by what it moves.”